Martin Skrtel.... One For Raph

[sneeksxxx8]

Haha this is something i found funny;

The teeanage mutant Ninja Skrtel that Is Martin Skrtel....

Once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Martin Skrtel kicks you your relatives will feel it.

is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position

If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.

is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Martin Skrtel is the one remaining Highlander

Martin Skrtel puts the laughter in manslaughter

Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.

Martin Skrtel draws all his strength from Kryptonite, it does not weaken him

Ghostbusters call Martin Skrtel

Martin Skrtel is so hard, when the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Martin Skrtel.

[sneeksxxx8]

Found some more. They make me giggle anway;

Skrtel’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Skrtel was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.

Skrtel does not wear a condom. because there is no such thing as protection from Skrtel.

When Skrtel goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Skrteled.

Skrtel counted to infinity - twice.

Skrtel invented every colour. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Skrtel gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Skrtel can slam a revolving door.

Skrtel's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Skrtel.

Skrtel can speak Braille.

Skrtel's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Skrtel owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green 4 card from the game Uno.

Once a cobra bit Skrtel's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Skrtel divides by zero.

When Skrtel exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Skrtel sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled football ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Skrtel spear-tackled the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play snooker every second Wednesday of the month.

[Admin]

Haha, I like that. I also like that there are two centre halves who are both teenage and also mutant.

[sneeksxxx8]

I thought you would appreciate that Raph....

[Harbs]

you stole them from the Legend that is Chuck!
i dont think he will appreciate that Sneeks and for your own safety a heart felt apology should be added to your next comment.

[sneeksxxx8]

Martin Skrtel once went into Burger King and asked for a Big Mac. They made it for him

Some kids play Kick the can. Martin Skrtel played Kick the keg.

Carlsberg don't do hard men but if they did Martin Skrtel would eat them

[sneeksxxx8]

Martin Skrtel is so hard that Chuck Norris lets him use the same jokes....


Leave me alone Harbour im having fun reading Skrtel the Turtle jokes.... u always have to spoil everything dont you......hows your head?

[sneeksxxx8]

U going to roundhouse kick me?

[Harbs]

head is absolutely fine but £1 a drink is just insane!
ay have had one or two.